Fear of Commitment and Relationships: Effects on Intimacy and Sense of Trust


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Fear of commitment: Many people today face fear of commitment in romantic relationships. Fear of commitment is a feeling of anxiety, fear, or discomfort about getting intimate and committing within a relationship. This fear can arise from a variety of factors, such as past traumatic experiences, lack of confidence, or low self-esteem.

Fear of Commitment

Fear of commitment often has its roots in a person's childhood experiences. For example, children who fail to develop secure immunity or who have difficulty developing a sense of trust with caregiving figures tend to experience a fear of commitment in adulthood. At the same time, past experiences such as bad relationships, cheating, abandonment, or emotional abuse can also contribute to fear of commitment.

Fear of commitment can cause many negative effects within a relationship. People who fear commitment in relationships often avoid emotional intimacy and maintain their emotional walls. They tend to focus on surface relationships or distant relationships rather than establishing a deep connection within the relationship. This prevents them from forming an emotional connection with their partner and suppresses the need for intimacy.

People who are commitment-phobic also have difficulty developing a sense of trust. They constantly feel worried that they will be abandoned or cheated on. These concerns can prevent them from fully trusting their partners and the healthy progress of the relationship. People with commitment fear often struggle to control themselves or others, which can lead to tensions in the relationship.

Fear of commitment can also affect the long-term sustainability of relationships. People with commitment fear often tend to end relationships or move away. As closeness increases, their anxiety increases and they tend to have an escape response. This prevents a healthy relationship from developing and deepening.

It is possible to deal with the fear of commitment. Psychotherapy can help the individual understand this fear, explore past experiences, and develop a sense of confidence. Cognitive-behavioral therapies can be effective at changing thought patterns that trigger fear of commitment and learning new, healthy relationship skills.

Fear of commitment not only affects the sense of attachment and trust in a relationship, but can also have a negative impact on communication and emotional adjustment. People with commitment fear often have difficulty expressing their emotional needs and have difficulty establishing open and healthy communication with their partners. This lack of communication can lead to increased conflict and disagreements and negatively impact the relationship.

Fear of commitment can also negatively affect emotional harmony between partners as it prevents the feeling of closeness and connection in the relationship. If one party in the relationship fears commitment, the other party may constantly feel rejected or rejected. This may lead to the partner's needs not being met and feeling emotional dissatisfaction. As a result, emotional harmony and satisfaction in the relationship may decrease.

Fear of commitment can also affect the level of dependency in a relationship. People with commitment fear often tend to maintain their need for independence and freedom. Therefore, they may have a low level of dependency with their partner and feel less commitment in the relationship. People with commitment fear may withdraw or distance themselves emotionally to avoid feelings of dependency.

Commitment-phobic people are often also prone to cycles of unreliability in their relationships. Any small uncertainty or doubt in the relationship creates great anxiety and insecurity in the commitment-phobic person. These concerns can lead to behaviors such as constantly questioning, checking, or doubting the partner's fidelity. This cycle of distrust can cause tensions and conflicts in the relationship and hinder the healthy development of the relationship.

Fear of commitment not only affects romantic relationships, but can also have an impact on other types of relationships. Individuals who have a fear of commitment in other relationships such as friendships, family relationships and business relationships may have difficulty developing a sense of attachment and trust. This can cause difficulties in terms of depth, intimacy, and mutual support in social relationships.

Fear of commitment can have a significant impact on many relationships. Avoidance of emotional intimacy can negatively affect the quality and sustainability of relationships through effects such as distrust, lack of communication, and low emotional adjustment. However, it is possible to overcome the fear of commitment and build healthy relationships. Getting support is important for a person to discover himself, develop a sense of confidence, and learn healthy attachment skills.


  1. Carnelley, K. B., & Rowe, A. C. (2007). Repeated priming of attachment security influences later views of self and relationships. Personal Relationships, 14(2), 307-320.
  2. Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2016). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change. Guilford Publications.
  3. Spielmann, S.S., MacDonald, G., & Wilson, A.E. (2009). On the rebound: focusing on someone new helps anxiously attached individuals let go of ex-partners. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 35(10), 1382-1394.
  4. Wei, M., Russell, D. W., & Zakalik, R. A. (2005). Adult attachment, social self-efficacy, self-disclosure, loneliness, and subsequent depression for freshman college students: A longitudinal study. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 52(4), 602-614.

I hope this additional information has provided more insight into the effects of fear of commitment on relationships.

Fear of Commitment and Relationships: Effects on Intimacy and Sense of Trust

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